


Sun Rise

by Verasteine



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-28
Updated: 2009-01-28
Packaged: 2017-10-07 09:51:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/63959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Verasteine/pseuds/Verasteine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Stay here," Jack had ordered, before disappearing along with the aliens next to him. Now Ianto was left on his own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sun Rise

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [](http://kel-reiley.livejournal.com/profile)[**kel_reiley**](http://kel-reiley.livejournal.com/), for making me a lovely icon to go with this fic, to [](http://smirnoffmule.livejournal.com/profile)[**smirnoffmule**](http://smirnoffmule.livejournal.com/) and [](http://caladria.livejournal.com/profile)[**caladria**](http://caladria.livejournal.com/) for the Britishism advice, and to [](http://used-songs.livejournal.com/profile)[**used_songs**](http://used-songs.livejournal.com/) for the fabulous beta.

The waves were crashing down against the rocky shore and it was dark. Ianto shivered. Wrapped up in his mac, it barely afforded him the protection he needed against the damp and the cold that were seeping in. He couldn't recall how long he'd sat here, on this beach, on this particular rock, staring out as the old lighthouse of Flat Holm Island swept periodically over the coastal waters.

"Stay here," Jack had ordered. "Stay right here." And he was swept away by beings Ianto could only half see, shimmering in and out of existence in front of his eyes, but never quite disappearing. Jack had squinted, but he had seemed able to pick them out as he talked to them in a language that sounded like a series of clicks and unintelligible sounds to Ianto.

It had certainly been hours since the orange light had sucked Jack up to disappear into nothingness along with the pink-green aliens. Ianto had got a headache a while ago, but he didn't know if it was from the never-quite-there aliens or the long wait staring into the sunset, or the cold that was wracking his frame. He pulled the mac tighter around his body.

How long would he sit here and watch the water and waves, before calling it in? The team didn't know about this place, Jack hadn't wanted them to know. How to explain to the others what this place was? Yet how long could he wait before acknowledging that he had no clue where Jack was, or if Jack were ever likely to be returned? Shouldn't he make use of the resources of the hub? He shuddered silently, shifting anxiously on the cold stone.

\--

He must have dozed off at some point because he awoke a little time later, still seeing only darkness. He stared out over the water, what little he could see of it in the lighthouse beam; the waves continued to spray up as they crashed against the shore, wetting his coat. Ianto realised he'd stopped shivering, sometime during his sleep, and wondered if he should be worried. Owen would know, but he couldn't call Owen yet.

He started praying during the night; half-forgotten words he'd learned as a child, things he never truly believed in but wanted to believe in now. He looked up at the stars, brightly shining down on him, and asked whatever god was in the universe to send Jack back to him. It sounded desperate and childish to his ears, yet he couldn't stop repeating it in his own head. He didn't want to think about how much he needed Jack, didn't want to think about Jack possibly not returning, didn't want to acknowledge the affection and admiration he held for his captain.

He'd loved Lisa with all his heart, she had been his first and his last love, and Captain Jack Harkness was just that: captain, leader, friend, lover... _nouns_. Never that strange verb that was all encompassing in the English language. He couldn't be, not because he would replace Lisa in Ianto's mind -- he never would or could -- but because that word held an acknowledgement of all Ianto could not give Jack.

Yet he wanted Jack back, and that was his prevailing thought. It was not so long ago that he had felt the same, Jack's months long absence making him itchy and difficult, as much as he'd tried to carry on. It was the feeling of something lacking, something failing, different from the ache of not having Lisa, but not so different that he hadn't admitted to himself he'd missed Jack, those long months.

\--

He didn't so much conclude he couldn't live without Jack as he concluded he didn't want to live without Jack. He found he didn't care for the idea of life without Jack, the idea of never being touched like that again, of never putting his arms around Jack again, of never knowing the light in Jack's eyes again. He could live without Jack if he needed to; he'd learned to live without Lisa and he could learn the same with Jack. After all, all it took to continue in life was not to quit, and quitting was a wilful action Ianto saw no reason for just yet.

He was drifting now, cold but not feeling it, long since having lost sensation in his limbs, as he sat with his arms wrapped around his knees on a cold rock on the shore of Flat Holm Island. He watched the sun rise, slowly creeping over the horizon, and the lighthouse stilled as the dawn rays took over. Ianto knew he had to do something, had to move. He didn't know how.

\--

He was shaken awake by strong hands; worried fingers, burning hot, ghosted over his face and lips. He opened his eyes with difficulty, blinking against the sun right above him, and a helpful hand cast a shadow over his eyes to shield him from the brightness.

"Jack," he whispered hollowly, as he recognised the person above him.

"Ianto, what are you doing out here?" Jack crouched by his side, helping him to sit up. He lay his hand against Ianto's cheek, and the hotness of that touch made Ianto shiver for the first time in hours. "Why didn't you go inside? Oh god, you're frozen."

Ianto blinked several times, grasping Jack's arm to ensure he was real for one brief, fanciful moment. "I -- you told me to stay here, I must have drifted off. I didn't realise it was going to be so long," he croaked out, a little hoarse.

Jack shucked his coat and put it around his shoulders. "Put this on, you'll catch your death."

Ianto did as instructed, then looked at Jack. "Where were you? Why were you gone so long?"

"Oh," Jack replied with a wave of his hand, "they needed a bit of explaining on the finer points of the Shadow Proclamation. It took a little longer than I expected. My DNA confused them slightly." He sat down next to Ianto, one hand resting between Ianto's shoulder blades. "Were you really up all night, waiting for me?"

_I was worried_, Ianto wanted to say, but for some reason, the words wouldn't come. "I drifted off a few times," he said instead, and leaned ever so slightly into the warmth of Jack's coat and Jack's hand. "I didn't think you'd be that long either."

Jack's hand began to rub circles on his back, and Ianto shivered. "You shouldn't have waited. I thought you'd have called the others by now, and I'd have a lot of explaining to do."

Ianto shook his head, unsure what to say next. "Jack," he said finally.

Jack looked at him. "Hmm?"

"Was it really that simple?"

"What?"

"The aliens," Ianto clarified. "The, um, shadow proclamation?"

Jack's face fell slightly, almost imperceptibly. "No," he responded, and there was a note to his voice Ianto couldn't place. He snaked a hand out from under Jack's coat and took Jack's hand. Jack's fingers gripped his and squeezed. For a moment, Ianto didn't think Jack would speak further, but the captain surprised him and said, "They don't have the friendliest way of obtaining their DNA samples. Or scanning. Really, they should learn a thing or two about non-invasive technology."

Ianto shuddered. He was cold again.

"It's fine," Jack said quickly, smiling broadly. "Nothing I can't handle."

"Do you want your coat back?" Ianto asked.

Jack looked at him. "What?"

Ianto smiled. "Do you want your coat back?"

"I like the way it looks on you," Jack said. "And you're colder than me."

That was true. Ianto burrowed further into the coat for a bit. "I'm sorry," he said out of nowhere, and then frowned when he didn't know where those words had come from.

"It's okay," Jack replied, seeming to know what he was trying to say anyway. "It's not a big deal, just uncomfortable."

Ianto turned and took him in. Jack looked tired, tired like he had... "Did you die?"

Jack stared out over the water. The waves crashed a few times against the shore, the wind blowing the spray away from them now. "Yeah."

Ianto took off the coat and draped it around Jack's shoulders, then shifted closer to him. "I should have called the others," he said.

"No, you did the right thing. I didn't want any of you involved with this species, they can be a bit... forward. I wanted to keep you safe." He looked at Ianto, meanwhile pulling the coat tighter around his shoulders. "Let's go home."

Ianto nodded and stood. Well, tried to stand, but his numb legs gave out on him and Jack had to steady him. He held on to Jack for a minute or so, feeling the blood rush back into his legs and the shivers start up again. Jack pulled him in close, sharing body heat and support. "You could have developed hypothermia out here."

"I didn't," Ianto replied.

"Nonetheless, I want you to take a nice hot shower when we get back."

Ianto almost made a joke before he realised Jack's flirtatious tone was missing. "I will," he said.

Jack put his hand, still warm, against Ianto's cheek again, and leaned in for a soft kiss. "It was okay," he said quietly, appearing to respond to something in Ianto's eyes that Ianto wasn't aware he was betraying, "because I knew I could take it. And I knew you didn't have to."

"I was worried about you," Ianto blurted out.

"I know," Jack said, not seeming in the least surprised. "It's okay."

Ianto felt somewhere that it wasn't okay, this obligatory, unthinking sacrifice. He wanted to say that he didn't agree, wanted to argue, and knew there was nothing to argue with. The universe didn't rearrange itself from the way the cards had been dealt, nor could he change the lot that was dealt his lover. He couldn't trade with Jack, and arguing with him would make it worse. He pulled Jack close, feeling him rest his head on Ianto's shoulder, bury his nose against Ianto's cold neck.

"Jack," Ianto said softly.

"I know," Jack replied again. "Let's just go home."

\--  
_finis._


End file.
